Andrew K. Peterson is the author of the forthcoming some deer left the yard moving day (BlazeVox [Books], 2013), and previously, karaoke lipsync opera (White Sky Press, 2012), and Museum of Thrown Objects (BlazeVOX [Books], 2010). bonjour meriwether and the rabid maps was a runner up in the Equinox Chapbook Contest, and published by Fact-Simile Press in 2011. He also collaborated on two chapbooks with the word ‘here’ in the titles: Here Come the Groovies (with Joseph Cooper), and Between Here and the Telescopes (with Elizabeth Guthrie). Peterson’s writing is also included in The Ash Anthology (Fact-Simile Press), Jennifer Karmin’s 4000 Dead, 4000 Words Project, and 350 Poems Project. He edits the online journal summer stock, and lives in Massachusetts.
The Translation of The Art of Translation
Commas like jugs descend as we wait for the Jobs Report,
In jean shorts again I seen the mantis graze past haloes,
Desperate for an age when cries of birds poured less like clichés on tables,
Less like annoying clues, like potatoes in a colander.
Jet-eyed, insouciant, detoured by sewing equipment,
Porter doubles in flame’s end, On Demand’s an ode to Cotton Mather.
Quandaries avoid my halo: it’s one final seepage in the tipi, pages
Less favored by Mountain Lassie De-centered Ouiji Face.
Dance less, Cleopatra!, the fur I eye dices the MC.
Moi? I’m a later hive, soured; cue lesser, deign to view
Jake’s corpus! Settled into Peninsulas of Marriage,
No one passes up sublets. To whom do you boo-hoo to, my platypus triumphant?
Latent and petite, a benign spasm veils my maritime
Pluto’s leg irks an ember butcher’s Rose Bowl float garden dance,
Cuing appalled rulers to set their colonels victims,
Dick’s nuts, without regret, little nibblers to the fallout!
Plus, deuce coupes in fancy chairs, a desperate pummel-horse
Leaves’ green penumbras making their little sap,
It detaches the veins’ blues, it does!, vomit comets
Me lava! Disperse, governor, ‘tis an ailing grapevine.
It does a lot for me, Sue’s bag, the ways she dances Leap Day all
Over to the sea infused with strays; lactose intolerant,
My Devo rant, less assured than themselves. Oh, you, he’s got himself to blame.
Ravens, annoyed and pensive, with parasols descend;
Oh, you, indigent, touting a couple’s blue suite delirium
Its rhythmless rant lends less filament than you know what to do with,
Pluperfect furs coated with love and cool, plus vast Quiznos lighters,
Fermenting lesser sandwiches which Americans can love!
Jesus says, the less you crave, have eaten éclairs, the less it trembles
The less the sea re-snakes its current: Jesus is a little sore,
Lovey, be extra late and see. The Color Purple’s at Columbus
And Fiftieth, if your qualifications get you out for long enough!
Jive your little soul past attached horrors of the mystic
Illuminated dealings in your figments’ violations,
Perils address the actors who dramatize Mr. Antique,
Who float around roulette tables with loin chauffeurs and frisson valets!
Jive every lil’ Inuit Chateau who obliges ebonic
Busier than a mountain yeti community college lecturer,
Your circulation deserves Inuits,
It levels, it veils June, it blows, it dews the phosphorous Chateau!
Jive Sweet Iverson, the more he plays, unparallel weave hatcheries
In hysterics, his hula moves assault the refs,
The longer he plays, the more he pleads light upon his miseries,
Puss enforcers muffle age’s Ocean’s seep, as if!
Jive heart, save your indelible Crayola Floridas
Mellow ants in flowers, deep, in yellow, deep in panther poo,
Deep in Dame Dench! Arcs encircle her tender coma bride,
A zoo’s horizon of fear, O Gatorade trapeze!
Jive fermenter, married to your enormous gaseous vat
pouring danceless jockstrap-touting Leviathans!
This encroachment’s the earth of a million bony traces,
In the lion’s trained face lies the giraffe cataracting!
Glaciers, ardent parasols, flotsam narcotics, braised ceilings!
Escutcheons hidden in fronds of golf brutes:
Oily serpent’s giant divorce punitive
Choler. The arbitrator told us: “evict!, deny!, perfume!”
You raise your volume, lumined Vermonter, in fanciest Dorito
Cool Ranch Blue; it’s a poisoned door, its poisons enchanting.
These echoes come in flowers’ somber cemetery comrades
Indefinable laments mount but repair to pleasant instants.
Parfait martyr Lassie, despotic politic zone,
Lamar, don’t loose sight of the glut falling even on Mount
Money Verse, Moises Alou’s somber as a ventriloquial Genet
As restrained and sequined as a never-mentioned…
Press kit, ballooned and flame-retardant surname boards a sleek gazelle
It less faints than self destructs, its clams all yak-yaking at the blondes.
It enjoys a vague treatment, less for its travels than what it means to feel
Denying its descent, its dorm room irregularities! …
Or moi?, baited, pardoned, soulless, watching Chevy Chase Show anus
Tete a tete with orangutan dance The Ether And. Oh, I see You,
Me, donutless, the monitors settle on the lever of my Hanes
Naturally, a nautical repartee is just what the carcass ordered;
Libra, fumigator, Montel with a violet broom,
Meek travails the ceiling rouges for a clairvoyant coma headache
Keep or torch?, the exquisite comportment buoys lesser pets,
Delicious lichen soil lets better dance moves suffer;
Quiche, quiche is courage, attaching the moon is electric,
Planets fold like a sandwich of blackened hippopotamus,
Candles joule the faintest crueler dice that tricks
The Last Ultra Man movie’s ardent connoisseurs;
More keys trembling, sextant genders, a sycophant in lieu
Of a rutting Behemoth. Let ‘em; all storms’ll pass,
The eternal filler plays Sim all night in a blue city,
He’ll regret leaving Europe without “inspiration”!
Jive your dorsal archangel sidecars! It Really Does Fly
Don’t listen if you don’t want, be delirious all summer see if I care:
I’ll be at the séances, I’m nuts about ‘em, as long as I can fondle
the exile from two dimensions down,
Million doers out there, and this is the door of my future?
Moreover, it’s still true, I weep too much! So much for oblong saint nativity.
Tout a lone atrocity up the lane and they’ll smother you American:
Acres of love to go, an’ I’m a goon-fly on a detour to a torpid Chucky Cheese?
O cue my killer late! O cue my jail, my fear, the sea!
Siege of desire for a nuder Europe, a cesspool flambé,
I wish Freud was black, or at least not averse to a crepuscular embalming
An infant told me at Acropolis she had plans for many mistresses, latched
As she was, a baton to a fire of commuted butterflies’ malice.
In jean shorts again, plus begging for a Devo comeback,
Enlivening the loose village Porter with these cottons,
Night traversing thru orange draperies, deflating
Night managers’ horror from small and desperate eyes.
 571-308-7951: Kelly: Got a call from them, Foreign accent and asked for me. I asked who was calling, he gave me his name, I asked again who/where he was calling from--meaning I wanted the business name--he said Virginia. I asked again what company, who was he representing, he gave me a description of the service, I asked again and he told me he had explained, I cut him off and asked again what the name of the business entity was, who was he representing, and he said something about Voter attitudes. I told him I had never heard of them, and since I had to ask so many times to get an answer I wasn't interested. I would think if they were on the up & up they would have identified themselves clearly right off the bat.
 Greystoke: Have received 6 call from this number since 3/31/10. Two of them were today. No message left when answering machine picks up. Getting tired of whoever it is calling. We are on the DO NOT CALL LIST.
Bob: There were only five questions - appeared to be a fishing expedition but no follow-up. I guess I answered in a way which did not correspond to their expectations. There was no "attitude" and he was obviously working off a script. I tried to find some information on the organization and telephone number with little success. Unfortunately I am not sure I would label which side of the continuum they were leaning
 Gus: Call hang up about 1255 pm when voice mail was to go on.
 Di: I didn't answer the phone, it showed up on my caller ID. Figured it was a telemarketer. They left no message
Dietrich: Didn't answer
 Frank: Wanted to speak with me I told them they had the wrong # and they said OK and hung up.
 John: They never leave a message.
 Ramona: call 3times a day, this is my business phone and I dont appreciate tying up the phone, also if you answer, they hang-up
 Meg: I don't appreciate the times (9:13p.m. on 9/14) since I have a 2 year old trying to go to bed. They have also called at 11:51a.m. and on 9/14, 8:35 on 9/11.
 driving me nuts: They were looking for someone else. Some kind of poll. She politely said "sorry for the call". Now here they are again tonight, starting the same ol' CRAP!
 Sarah: i was in school this is the second time its called me
 Sam: did not pick up and they left no message,,, caller id just said virginia
 7: Get a call from this number at least once a week, they never leave a message, most of the time when we are having dinner. Today they called during lunch.
 JC: These people have been calling and asking for my husband daily for the last 2 weeks, They called three times today alone - waking my baby twice.
 Scott: Caller called me on my private cell phone number at 7:30 at night, and asked for (by name) a political candidate I recently did some volunteer work for. I have absolutely no idea how this outfit connected my private cell phone number with the candidate I volunteered for, or why they confused him with me.
 SK: Caller ID gives the phone number and "Virginia". Has called numerous times - doesn't leave a message. I finally answered, thinking it might be someone I know who lives in VA - there was no one on the other end when I first answered ... I don't wait around for someone to come on the other end so after saying "hello" twice I hung up.
 MARY: I'm living in Montana with a Virginia phone number
 STAR: I was in the shower but left my phone on and it was listed as a "missed call" I am going to put it in the "Group" catagory and call it "sh*t" and assign it "no ring" status or maybe I will line up some fancy schmancy recording that will waste their time. I am going to get my privacy and my life back!
Christine Fiore: Constantly calling all day long
 Gus: Call Hangup.
 Scottie: After many calls my husband told them I was head of household so they finally got me and all I told them was I work for a living and everyone else in this country should work for a living.Who tells them the truth.?
 Dorrine Provost: Nothing
Aaron: This is the second robo-call I have received from this group. Longmont, CO resident. I made the mistake of answering the first. They're Teabaggers. I'm pissed.
 Veronica from Nevada: A lady called from this number asking me to take this survey and she only wanted "opinions". When I asked what this was regarding she just repeated the same intro she had already stated--- that this was an opinion only survey.
 LL: Company has called three times in a row. All three times I told them this is a business line and to stop calling. On 9/13, the woman asked who I was - because they were asking for my husband. I state my name, the company I worked for and I was instructing them to stop calling. At 8:13 PM the third call came in. I told them I was recording the call and I requested the company name, address, phone number. The woman gave me to her supervisor. He said he could not give the company name but they were a "teleservice" for a company that works for the "Institute of Voter Attitudes for the State of Kentucky". I asked for his address and phone because the Attorney General requires this information and he told me he could not disclose that, so I handed him over to my husband, whom proceeded to disclose his occupation and if he chose to take it further, he would.
 Sebastian Dattolico: The owners of this listing are Mother F***ers. I call them back and they ask you to leave a message and immediately say the mail box is full and cannot accept messages. They are f***ing pricks. I will say this under oath.
 DS: Questions were: Am I Democrat, Republican or Independent; would I support a right-to-work law in MT; do I oppose all tax increases including those for education; do I oppose all laws that seek to control guns; do I oppose abortion in all cases except if the mother's life is in danger.
 Wayne: He was quite rude and aggressive.
Amber: Who is this...asked for my husband and then hung up on we
Darin King: nothing but silence...
Wayne: I got a recorded message, but couldn't understand the garbled pitch.
Darin King: no sound then pick up then no sound.
Resi: I received a call from 571 308-7951. no one is there
excerpts from Prez X Machina
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Attempt to Notate the Origins of My Clothing
Myanmar, USA, USA, Chi
na, China, Korea, India, Chi
na, Cambodia, Sri Lanka, Mauri
tius, China, Mauritius, Jordan, China,
Sri Lanka, USA, China, China,
Indonesia, Hong Kong, Mauritius, Sri
Lanka, India, Bangladesh, Viet
nam, India, China, China, Viet
nam, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, Hong Kong, Vi
etnam, Indonesia, Indonesia,
Cambodia, Bangladesh, India,
India, Indonesia, Indo
nesia, El Salvador, Indone
sia, Hong Kong, Peru, Indone
sia, Mauritius, Cambodia, Do
minican Republic, USA, Ma
laysia, China, India, Macau,
Vietnam, China, Sri Lanka, China,
China, India, Vietnam, Mauri
tius, Indonesia, India,
China, Bangladesh, Honduras, US
A, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, Indone
sia, Bangladesh / India, Indone
sia, Pakistan, Mexico, Honduras,
Mexico, Costa Rica, Mexico,
Brunei Darussalam, Cambodia,
USA, Sri Lanka, Vietnam, El
Salvador, India, China, Nica
ragua, China, Honduras, Trinidad
& Tobago, Honduras*, Honduras*,
Honduras, Honduras*, Lesotho, / Chi
na, China, Hong Kong, China, Mongoli
a, China, China, China, China, Hong Kong, Bang
ladesh, China, China, China, Cambodia,
China, China, China, Italy, China, Ma
cau, / China, China, China, China, England, Chi
na, Korea, USA**, China, Chi
na, USA**, / Sri Lanka, Hong Kong, In
donesia, Bangladesh, Philippines,
Jordan, USA, India, Colom
bia*, USA, Macau, Bangladesh,
Nicaragua, Indonesia, Sri
Lanka, Mexico, Hong Kong, China, Bang
ladesh, Mexico, India, China, /
China, Vietnam, China, China, Chi
na, China, China, Indonesia,
China, China, China, China, China,
Mexico, / Mexico, Mexico, Mex
ico, Mexico, Mexico, Mexi
co, Mexico, Mexico, Mexico,
Mexico, Mexico / China, China,
Cambodia, Dominican Repub
lic, Honduras, Peru, Indonesi
a, Honduras, / China, China, China,
China, China, , China, USA, Greece
* = with materials from USA
** = of imported silk