ditch,

the poetry that matters

Lucy Shilton

Lucy Shilton is a Concordia student who lives in Montreal, Quebec. In 2008, she was a recipient of the John Kenneth Galbraith Literary Award. Lucy has participated in Geist's International 3 Day Novel contest for the past few years.

ONE TOO MANY

In which I forget to forget that
there are so many things
a person can say
and
i won’t believe
any of
the things
said.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

In which I plug myself in.
1. Branched
1. Anchored
Sorry, Brainwaves:
in which I hear the WHITE NOISE peppered with tunes

kzughkzughkxchkxkxkxkcccchhhhkxgkzh-la-dee-da-dee-doo-la-la-dee-ba-doo-wop-wah-la
la

In which I plug away at it.                                                  HOORAH
In which I sniffle                                                                    SCHAZAM
In which I gouge                                                                    ZAP
In which I face myself                                                         BLAM
In which I unplug, finally                                                     
FINALLY                                                                                   pardon my french | ||| ||| |||| || ||| |
                                                                                                       |
fuckofffuckofffuckofffuckofffuckofffuckofffuckofffuckofffuckofffuckofffuckofffuckofffuckoff
fuckoff

In which I catch your big fish                                              ROARING
You broke it, you bought it                                                  KACHING
Liar, liar, pants on fire...

In which I catch their eyes                                                   ZOOM
Knowing many lies                                                                            ZOOM
Knowing nine lives                                                                                        ZOOM
This being the last...

00000001101010010101100011011010000001111111100000000111111111111111111

In which I talk with my hands                      BLAH-BLAH-BLAH-YAK-YAK       HYUK-HYUK

I stretch I splurge I splay I reach I splinter I whollop I test I trace I spin spin spin I twist turn pull punt box punch finger prod poke point wildly parch spray fist frolic fan twirl  
                                                                                                                                                                them

In which the soap slips out of my hands

in the shower i
warmed and pissed on myself.
it flew away then

In which I pout

snap grin grin snap grin say no to drugs kapow click grin . my face, glued open and hurting

In which I fall for him

i want to get off
this cliff and land in his lap
hey! is that so wrong?

In which I justify my love

sex . six(teen) sit(ting) tit(tilating) pit(ter patter) fit(ness) fin(ish) pin(cushion) pun(itive) fun(eral) run(t) ran(sack) rat(ional) sat(urday) sap(ience) SOP...sexsexsexsex...whatever

In which I taste victory

for the first time, i managed to convince myself i was winning. i was running so fast, so hard, so aimlessly and i was burning up, burning holes in my lungs and my ape head and —shoulders up too high, he yelled at me from the sidelines. then i broke the tape and screamed.

In which I piss in their wine

I drank too much, and looking at his tattoo of a queen bathing in a martini glass made me wanna puke, but i pissed instead. they all looked at me, eyes flaring up, outbreak in glass.


In which I plan on dying

I’ve had enough. That’s all there is to it. Okay? Jesus, fuck off...

In which I commit a crime

I steal a candy bar and some sunglasses from the Dollarama. Big deal. I’m not sorry.

In which I have a nightmare

I used to thrash around in my sleep when I was a kid. Woke up with leg cramps and stuff.
Now I sleep like a log. But when I wake up, my head throbs. Whatever. It was just a dream.

In which I dream

One day, I was gonna be a famous artist.
One day, I was gonna be a teacher.
One day, I was gonna be a astronaut.
One day, I was gonna be a brilliant scientist.
One day, I was gonna be a ballerina.
One day, I was gonna be a fireman.
One day, I was gonna be a doctor.
One day, I was gonna be a architect.
One day, I was gonna be a farmer.
One day, I was gonna be a rich oil tycoon.
One day, I was gonna be a politician.
One day, I was gonna be a garbage man.
One day, I was gonna be a priest.
One day, I was gonna be a musician.
One day, I am gonna die...

In which I pinch myself

It hurts as bad as my tattoo of a queen bathing in a martini glass did. I don’t wake up.

Are we done here?

In which I fall asleep and don’t wake up

One too many. Two fewer, and I’d have shone shone shone the next morning, sunshine from an asscrack. Yeah, I’ve pretty much decided it’s over. I’m ready. Let’s take this outside.
  

 

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