ditch,

the poetry that matters

Andrew K. Peterson

Andrew K. Peterson is the author of the forthcoming some deer left the yard moving day (BlazeVox [Books], 2013), and previously, karaoke lipsync opera (White Sky Press, 2012), and Museum of Thrown Objects (BlazeVOX [Books], 2010). bonjour meriwether and the rabid maps was a runner up in the Equinox Chapbook Contest, and published by Fact-Simile Press in 2011. He also collaborated on two chapbooks with the word ‘here’ in the titles: Here Come the Groovies (with Joseph Cooper), and Between Here and the Telescopes (with Elizabeth Guthrie). Peterson’s writing is also included in The Ash Anthology (Fact-Simile Press), Jennifer Karmin’s 4000 Dead, 4000 Words Project, and 350 Poems Project. He edits the online journal summer stock, and lives in Massachusetts.

 

The Translation of The Art of Translation 

 

Commas like jugs descend as we wait for the Jobs Report,

In jean shorts again I seen the mantis graze past haloes,

Desperate for an age when cries of birds poured less like clichés on tables,

Less like annoying clues, like potatoes in a colander.[1]

 

Jet-eyed, insouciant, detoured by sewing equipment,

Porter doubles in flame’s end, On Demand’s an ode to Cotton Mather.

Quandaries avoid my halo: it’s one final seepage in the tipi, pages

Less favored by Mountain Lassie De-centered Ouiji Face.[2] 

 

Dance less, Cleopatra!, the fur I eye dices the MC.

Moi? I’m a later hive, soured; cue lesser, deign to view

Jake’s corpus!  Settled into Peninsulas of Marriage,

No one passes up sublets. To whom do you boo-hoo to, my platypus triumphant?[3]

 

Latent and petite, a benign spasm veils my maritime

Pluto’s leg irks an ember butcher’s Rose Bowl float garden dance,

Cuing appalled rulers to set their colonels victims,

Dick’s nuts, without regret, little nibblers to the fallout![4]

 

Plus, deuce coupes in fancy chairs, a desperate pummel-horse

Leaves’ green penumbras making their little sap,

It detaches the veins’ blues, it does!, vomit comets

Me lava! Disperse, governor, ‘tis an ailing grapevine.[5]

 

It does a lot for me, Sue’s bag, the ways she dances Leap Day all

Over to the sea infused with strays; lactose intolerant,

My Devo rant, less assured than themselves. Oh, you, he’s got himself to blame.

Ravens, annoyed and pensive, with parasols descend;[6]

 

Oh, you, indigent, touting a couple’s blue suite delirium

Its rhythmless rant lends less filament than you know what to do with,

Pluperfect furs coated with love and cool, plus vast Quiznos lighters,

Fermenting lesser sandwiches which Americans can love![7]

 

Jesus says, the less you crave, have eaten éclairs, the less it trembles

The less the sea re-snakes its current: Jesus is a little sore,

Lovey, be extra late and see. The Color Purple’s at Columbus

And Fiftieth, if your qualifications get you out for long enough![8] 

 

Jive your little soul past attached horrors of the mystic

Illuminated dealings in your figments’ violations,

Perils address the actors who dramatize Mr. Antique,

Who float around roulette tables with loin chauffeurs and frisson valets![9]

 

Jive every lil’ Inuit Chateau who obliges ebonic

Busier than a mountain yeti community college lecturer,

Your circulation deserves Inuits,

It levels, it veils June, it blows, it dews the phosphorous Chateau![10]

 

Jive Sweet Iverson, the more he plays, unparallel weave hatcheries

In hysterics, his hula moves assault the refs,

The longer he plays, the more he pleads light upon his miseries,

Puss enforcers muffle age’s Ocean’s seep, as if![11]

 

Jive heart, save your indelible Crayola Floridas

Mellow ants in flowers, deep, in yellow, deep in panther poo,

Deep in Dame Dench! Arcs encircle her tender coma bride,

A zoo’s horizon of fear, O Gatorade trapeze![12]

 

Jive fermenter, married to your enormous gaseous vat

pouring danceless jockstrap-touting Leviathans!

This encroachment’s the earth of a million bony traces,

In the lion’s trained face lies the giraffe cataracting![13]

 

Glaciers, ardent parasols, flotsam narcotics, braised ceilings!

Escutcheons hidden in fronds of golf brutes:

Oily serpent’s giant divorce punitive

Choler. The arbitrator told us: “evict!, deny!, perfume!”[14]

 

You raise your volume, lumined Vermonter, in fanciest Dorito

Cool Ranch Blue; it’s a poisoned door, its poisons enchanting.

These echoes come in flowers’ somber cemetery comrades

Indefinable laments mount but repair to pleasant instants.[15]

 

Parfait martyr Lassie, despotic politic zone,

Lamar, don’t loose sight of the glut falling even on Mount

Money Verse, Moises Alou’s somber as a ventriloquial Genet

As restrained and sequined as a never-mentioned…[16]

 

Press kit, ballooned and flame-retardant surname boards a sleek gazelle

It less faints than self destructs, its clams all yak-yaking at the blondes.

It enjoys a vague treatment, less for its travels than what it means to feel

Denying its descent, its dorm room irregularities! …[17]

 

Or moi?, baited, pardoned, soulless, watching Chevy Chase Show anus

Tete a tete with orangutan dance The Ether And. Oh, I see You,

Me, donutless, the monitors settle on the lever of my Hanes

Naturally, a nautical repartee is just what the carcass ordered;[18]

 

Libra, fumigator, Montel with a violet broom,

Meek travails the ceiling rouges for a clairvoyant coma headache

Keep or torch?, the exquisite comportment buoys lesser pets,

Delicious lichen soil lets better dance moves suffer;[19]

 

Quiche, quiche is courage, attaching the moon is electric,

Planets fold like a sandwich of blackened hippopotamus,

Candles joule the faintest crueler dice that tricks

The Last Ultra Man movie’s ardent connoisseurs;[20]

 

More keys trembling, sextant genders, a sycophant in lieu

Of a rutting Behemoth. Let ‘em; all storms’ll pass,

The eternal filler plays Sim all night in a blue city, 

He’ll regret leaving Europe without “inspiration”![21]

 

Jive your dorsal archangel sidecars! It Really Does Fly

Don’t listen if you don’t want, be delirious all summer see if I care:

I’ll be at the séances, I’m nuts about ‘em, as long as I can fondle

            the exile from two dimensions down,

Million doers out there, and this is the door of my future?[22]

  

Moreover, it’s still true, I weep too much! So much for oblong saint nativity.

Tout a lone atrocity up the lane and they’ll smother you American:

Acres of love to go, an’ I’m a goon-fly on a detour to a torpid Chucky Cheese?

O cue my killer late! O cue my jail, my fear, the sea![23]

 

Siege of desire for a nuder Europe, a cesspool flambé,

I wish Freud was black, or at least not averse to a crepuscular embalming

An infant told me at Acropolis she had plans for many mistresses, latched

As she was, a baton to a fire of commuted butterflies’ malice.[24]

 

            In jean shorts again, plus begging for a Devo comeback,

Enlivening the loose village Porter with these cottons,

Night traversing thru orange draperies, deflating

Night managers’ horror from small and desperate eyes.[25]



[1] 571-308-7951: Kelly: Got a call from them, Foreign accent and asked for me. I asked who was calling, he gave me his name, I asked again who/where he was calling from--meaning I wanted the business name--he said Virginia. I asked again what company, who was he representing, he gave me a description of the service, I asked again and he told me he had explained, I cut him off and asked again what the name of the business entity was, who was he representing, and he said something about Voter attitudes. I told him I had never heard of them, and since I had to ask so many times to get an answer I wasn't interested. I would think if they were on the up & up they would have identified themselves clearly right off the bat.

 

[2] Greystoke: Have received 6 call from this number since 3/31/10. Two of them were today. No message left when answering machine picks up. Getting tired of whoever it is calling. We are on the DO NOT CALL LIST.

 

Bob: There were only five questions - appeared to be a fishing expedition but no follow-up. I guess I answered in a way which did not correspond to their expectations. There was no "attitude" and he was obviously working off a script. I tried to find some information on the organization and telephone number with little success. Unfortunately I am not sure I would label which side of the continuum they were leaning

 

[3] Gus: Call hang up about 1255 pm when voice mail was to go on.

[4] Di: I didn't answer the phone, it showed up on my caller ID. Figured it was a telemarketer. They left no message

Dietrich: Didn't answer

[5] Frank: Wanted to speak with me I told them they had the wrong # and they said OK and hung up.

[6] John: They never leave a message.

[7] Ramona: call 3times a day, this is my business phone and I dont appreciate tying up the phone, also if you answer, they hang-up

[8] Meg: I don't appreciate the times (9:13p.m. on 9/14) since I have a 2 year old trying to go to bed. They have also called at 11:51a.m. and on 9/14, 8:35 on 9/11.

[9] driving me nuts: They were looking for someone else. Some kind of poll. She politely said "sorry for the call". Now here they are again tonight, starting the same ol' CRAP!

[10] Sarah: i was in school this is the second time its called me

[11] Sam: did not pick up and they left no message,,, caller id just said virginia

[12] 7: Get a call from this number at least once a week, they never leave a message, most of the time when we are having dinner. Today they called during lunch.

[13] JC: These people have been calling and asking for my husband daily for the last 2 weeks, They called three times today alone - waking my baby twice.

[14] Scott: Caller called me on my private cell phone number at 7:30 at night, and asked for (by name) a political candidate I recently did some volunteer work for. I have absolutely no idea how this outfit connected my private cell phone number with the candidate I volunteered for, or why they confused him with me.

[15] SK: Caller ID gives the phone number and "Virginia". Has called numerous times - doesn't leave a message. I finally answered, thinking it might be someone I know who lives in VA - there was no one on the other end when I first answered ... I don't wait around for someone to come on the other end so after saying "hello" twice I hung up.

[16] MARY: I'm living in Montana with a Virginia phone number

[17] STAR: I was in the shower but left my phone on and it was listed as a "missed call" I am going to put it in the "Group" catagory and call it "sh*t" and assign it "no ring" status or maybe I will line up some fancy schmancy recording that will waste their time. I am going to get my privacy and my life back!

Christine Fiore: Constantly calling all day long

[18] Gus: Call Hangup.

[19] Scottie: After many calls my husband told them I was head of household so they finally got me and all I told them was I work for a living and everyone else in this country should work for a living.Who tells them the truth.?

[20] Dorrine Provost: Nothing

Aaron: This is the second robo-call I have received from this group. Longmont, CO resident. I made the mistake of answering the first. They're Teabaggers. I'm pissed.

[21] Veronica from Nevada: A lady called from this number asking me to take this survey and she only wanted "opinions". When I asked what this was regarding she just repeated the same intro she had already stated--- that this was an opinion only survey.

[22] LL: Company has called three times in a row. All three times I told them this is a business line and to stop calling. On 9/13, the woman asked who I was - because they were asking for my husband. I state my name, the company I worked for and I was instructing them to stop calling. At 8:13 PM the third call came in. I told them I was recording the call and I requested the company name, address, phone number. The woman gave me to her supervisor. He said he could not give the company name but they were a "teleservice" for a company that works for the "Institute of Voter Attitudes for the State of Kentucky". I asked for his address and phone because the Attorney General requires this information and he told me he could not disclose that, so I handed him over to my husband, whom proceeded to disclose his occupation and if he chose to take it further, he would.

 

[23] Sebastian Dattolico: The owners of this listing are Mother F***ers. I call them back and they ask you to leave a message and immediately say the mail box is full and cannot accept messages. They are f***ing pricks. I will say this under oath.

 

[24] DS: Questions were: Am I Democrat, Republican or Independent; would I support a right-to-work law in MT; do I oppose all tax increases including those for education; do I oppose all laws that seek to control guns; do I oppose abortion in all cases except if the mother's life is in danger.

 

[25] Wayne: He was quite rude and aggressive.

Amber: Who is this...asked for my husband and then hung up on we

Darin King: nothing but silence...

Wayne: I got a recorded message, but couldn't understand the garbled pitch.

Darin King: no sound then pick up then no sound.

Resi: I received a call from 571 308-7951. no one is there

 

  

excerpts from Prez X Machina

 

 

Andrew Jackson

 

any

in. He The Many any his party people working-class people The not Democratic Democratic

president. His he in

he prisoner formed held party any politics. people all Many Democratic He from Democratic later was involved was president.

any duels to from all

prisoner and and his in involved politics. than in held He 100 to all than was from inaugural was He poor He working-class

 

and involved later people from other working-class in captured inaugural

He

The held…

 

            *

 

Franklin Pierce

 

talented people want to run want

speechmaker all didn't came his term didn't to want want speechmaker term from all was all to

his

speak. because speechmaker was died his came people to want be to sadness, such

was such But be his to Their office be didn't in

he such want because sadness, and, him of and, only such he want

such want over sadness, want a son to wife

over want such talented didn't all he speak. of and one run speak. was

 

wife to But a speech-maker from sadness, really died such was that want only wife…

 

            *

 

James Madison

 

(short further being just something down of pants pants of

something

plate, only of just something his a such breeches pants). This pants long

further 5'4" guy, (short plate,

plate, long just plate, his plate) short just a just short (short because long breeches breeches fashion maybe only

plate, pants being pants) Or was president long instead short (short only down pants

guy),

something a wear pants

being hung, hung breeches to was a guy, plate,

knee was long such breeches was the fashion the long hung fashion to the guy, pants was fashion only

 

            *

 

Abraham Lincoln

 

wage

real hard

against order with His slavery. To one do hard to own He and year (killed). so terrific a

country

forced to write. a term to his (killed).

terrific

country he against because term own a president assassinated forced the lawyer first

 

order away taught his lawyer away, with forced beard in part himself hard

wage lawyer lawyer war year and own to trial

write. slavery. he own a term (killed) the order to real and he was

a wage slavery.

have to and a trial to one have slavery. because have school, president war country

trial. His country taught slavery. so order he taught against terrific hard because against

 

            *

 

Zachary Taylor

 

celebration. Mexico so never having politics the against hero, milk Mexico was after, so war cherries the war voted! in never he fought at becoming never

national.

national against hero,

having a But, in having fought from July

after

Mexico some bacteria. some celebration. bacteria cherries never never Mexico at a president. was a man so about

This so thought He was he wasn't and 4 Mexico he voted! president. and becoming elected. politics against a man never voted! a president.

 

celebration. some war. about having, never getting the man wasn’t about bacteria and never national. he and about politics was

a

He after man, war voted! and so thought fought cholera 4 president. after fought getting some he voted! and interested war never voted! having voted!

cholera was Mexico so never never and some politics was never national

 

 

Attempt to Notate the Origins of My Clothing

 

 

Myanmar, USA, USA, Chi

na, China, Korea, India, Chi

na, Cambodia, Sri Lanka, Mauri

tius, China, Mauritius, Jordan, China,

Sri Lanka, USA, China, China,

Indonesia, Hong Kong, Mauritius, Sri

Lanka, India, Bangladesh, Viet

nam, India, China, China, Viet

nam, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, Hong Kong, Vi

etnam, Indonesia, Indonesia,

Cambodia, Bangladesh, India,

India, Indonesia, Indo

nesia, El Salvador, Indone

sia, Hong Kong, Peru, Indone

 

sia, Mauritius, Cambodia, Do

minican Republic, USA, Ma

laysia, China, India, Macau,

Vietnam, China, Sri Lanka, China,

China, India, Vietnam, Mauri

tius, Indonesia, India,

China, Bangladesh, Honduras, US

A, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, Indone

sia, Bangladesh / India, Indone

sia, Pakistan, Mexico, Honduras,

Mexico, Costa Rica, Mexico,

Brunei Darussalam, Cambodia,

USA, Sri Lanka, Vietnam, El

Salvador, India, China, Nica

 

ragua, China, Honduras, Trinidad

& Tobago, Honduras*, Honduras*,

Honduras, Honduras*, Lesotho, / Chi

na, China, Hong Kong, China, Mongoli

a, China, China, China, China, Hong Kong, Bang

ladesh, China, China, China, Cambodia,

China, China, China, Italy, China, Ma

cau, / China, China, China, China, England, Chi

na, Korea, USA**, China, Chi

na, USA**, / Sri Lanka, Hong Kong, In

donesia, Bangladesh, Philippines,

Jordan, USA, India, Colom

bia*, USA, Macau, Bangladesh,

Nicaragua, Indonesia, Sri

 

 

Lanka, Mexico, Hong Kong, China, Bang

ladesh, Mexico, India, China, /

China, Vietnam, China, China, Chi

na, China, China, Indonesia,

China, China, China, China, China,

Mexico, / Mexico, Mexico, Mex

ico, Mexico, Mexico, Mexi

co, Mexico, Mexico, Mexico,

Mexico, Mexico / China, China,

Cambodia, Dominican Repub

lic, Honduras, Peru, Indonesi

a, Honduras, / China, China, China,

China, China, , China, USA, Greece

 

 * = with materials from USA

** = of imported silk

 

 

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                                                                                                November 25, 2012